DO YOU remember when Aliens and Predators were movie monsters to be feared, not pointed at and the butt of jokes?
It’s difficult I know, but they were scary and deadly once, and terrifying, not ham fisted, unconvincing and boring.
It’s that fear which inspired graphic designer Stephen Taubman to create the following fantastic graphic, outlining what would happen in an AvP battle (presumably one with a good director and decent production values)
What do you think? (To see it full size takes a couple of clicks)
Taubman’s conclusion is that the Predator had better finish things off quickly. As he said:
Now even as an Aliens fan, I’ll admit Predator is pretty badass. His gear is just too good, and if it came to a 1-on-1 duel in an empty room between the two, I’ll give the win to Predator. For me, the Aliens’ strength comes from their ability to rapidly reproduce. So while a Predator may be able to take down a single Alien pretty easily, it’s a different story when he’s facing 10 to 20 of them. That’s why I think time is THE deciding factor for this grudge-match. If Predator finds the Alien before it has a chance to reproduce more soldiers, it’s lights out for the Alien. But if the Alien has enough time to get a cycle of facehuggers and chestbursters going, the tables are quick to turn.
Based on recent film history, the longer they leave it the more chance there is of bad reviews and disappointing box office returns too.
However, as a commenter on his blog said, the graph overlooks the Arnie factor and the effect of cringe-worthy puns, both of which could skew the graph in any one of 100 directions.
For the survival instructions, I’d also like to add don’t go anywhere near Aliens or Predators with a squad of space marines. No matter how bad-ass they seem, they will either:
b) turn into screaming babies, wet their pants and then die or
c) fight bravely but futilely and … well, you see where I’m going with this.
In any case, it doesn’t end well.
Thanks to the Scifi Block for the heads up.
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