First full face transplant success – John Woo directs operation

DOCTORS in Spain have successfully completed the world’s first full face transplant.

Bringing hope to the facially challenged everywhere, they cut away the cheekbones, nose, lips, teeth, jawbone and skin of a donor to rebuild the face of a man who had been badly injured in a shooting accident by stitching it in place.

Undoubtedly an awesome medical achievement, but one that raises several moral questions.

Not least of which is if you manage to lose half of your face in a shooting accident, should you be trusted with another? After all, my son lost his Nintendo DS and we thought long and hard about replacing it, waiting for a year to teach him a lesson.

Secondly, won’t it be a bit freaky for the family of the donor to see their loved one’s face all over the place again? Imagine running into him by accident!

And what if the skin tans at a different rate than yours? You’d risk having a two-tone face every time you went out in the summer.

Finally if the real face transplant followed the tried and tested procedure from the film Face Off, wouldn’t it raise all manner of health and safety issues to have doves flying around the operating theatre in slow motion while various hospital staff burst through the door firing guns two-handed?

Perhaps the 30 doctors involved in the massively complex procedure should have thought more about stuff like that before they rushed in?

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