Star Trek aftershaves make you smell like a horny Vulcan

Red Shirt aftershave

I’VE wanted to blog about the new Star Trek aftershaves for ages, because it is such a great idea.

There are three types – Tiberius (for shadow universe Kirk fans everywhere), Pon Farr (for some pointy-eared blood lust action) and Red Shirt – which has the best tag line of  ‘smell like the future, because tomorrow may never come.’ Genius!

Given his success rate with various intersteller chickas, Kirk must have been smothered in the stuff back in the day. Hell, I bet he gargled it!

If I buy a bottle, what do you think the chances are of green-skinned foxes going all light headed and asking me to explain what is this Earth emotion called love?

More to the point, what other Star Trek fragrances are just waiting to be discovered? I’ve got a few suggestions.

Spock gropes Uhura - could it be that delightful fragrance?First of all there’s Uhura – tagline: Make sure her hailing frequencies are always open

Next I’d go for Montgomery, a scent that mixes the distinctive tang of whisky, iron bru, engine oil and dilithium crystals. Tagline – for when she just canna take it.

Or how about Riker, for when you feel like putting the beard on.

And finally, an aftershave called Sulu – Boldly going where no man has gone before.

Oh go on – just one more.

Picard – tagline: Make it soooo good

Thank you and goodnight!

STOP PRESS – the good people on the SFX forums have been coming up with some ideas too. My favourite is DataAu de Synthetique but click through to check them all out.

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