General Election 2015 – what if the party leaders were science fiction characters?

You want to be Prime Minister, don't you?

You want to be Prime Minister, don’t you?

Britain is in the final throes of the General Election campaign as politicians of every colour try to sell a sceptical public on their vision for the future.

And despite the contest being as close as it has ever been and a result being far from certain, it’s hard to stay focused on policies and what is important amid a non-stop barrage of argument and counter argument.

With that in mind, I decided to spice things up a bit by choosing which politicians in science fiction and fantasy the current crop of British politicians most resemble.

David Cameron

David Cameron

David Cameron

The current Prime Minister is seen as slick and shallow, with that PR smoothness masking an ugly edge that seemingly doesn’t mind hurting people for ideological reasons.

His real beliefs seem to change as it suits him – which football team does he support again – and he seems determined to enact policies which only benefit him and people like him.

Cameron is also supported and helped to influence people by a network of newspapers and satellite TV.

Given the enforced changes to the NHS, he  seems to have a thing about messing with Doctors.

With that in mind, David Cameron is Mr Saxon, aka The Master.
Vote Saxon!

Vote Saxon!

He kidded the population of Britain to get elected and then enacted his real plan to enslave the world, all the time looking down from on high with a chosen few.

Most likely to say: David Cameron doesn’t exist. I  am The Master.

Least likely to  say: I’m abolishing the Bedroom Tax

Vote for him if: You’re comfortable stepping on the little people

Ed Miliband

Ed Miliband

Ed Miliband

Surrounded and hounded by enemies on all  sides, including bacon sandwiches, he faces a seemingly impossible battle  to survive in a hostile environment.

Also criticised for being over-promoted into  a role  he is not suitable for.

Despite that, his ability to stick to his guns and say things that need to be said has earned him the respect of a growing number of  people, and he seems to have the well being of everyone foremost in his mind, not just a few.

With that in mind, Ed Miliband is President Laura Roslin
Laura Roslin

Laura Roslin

The last politician standing when the Cylons attacked, she stood  strong through difficult  times and found her people a new home in a better land.

Most likely to say: I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eye teeth to end you! I swear it! I’m coming for all of you!

Least likely to say: So say we all

Vote for him if: You believe in everyone doing ok is better than leaving people behind

Nicola Sturgeon

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon

On the face of it a seemingly unimportant person, but given changes in the wider world and political system, suddenly thrust into a position of enormous responsibility – a kingmaker.

That sudden emergence has led to a surge in popularity as a different option and face to the other main figures in the election.

Like Cameron, behind the smiles and much remarked upon fashion choices, there is a darker ambition – Scotland’s independence from the rest of the UK.

With that in mind, Nicola Sturgeon is Senator Palpatine
Senator, then Chancellor Palpatine

Senator, then Chancellor Palpatine

The humble  senator from Naboo took advantage of a crisis to take on emergency powers before destroying the Republic from within.

Most likely to say (about Labour in Scotland): Wipe  them out, all of them.

Least likely to say: Three cheers for the UK

Vote for her if: You like confusion and chaos

Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg

The man who went into Coalition with the Conservatives for the good of the country, and then abandoned his previous positions totally.

Has claimed influence over policies from then on, and in restraining the more right-wing urges of the Tories, but no-one outside of politics believes anything he says given his actions.

With that in mind, Nick Clegg is Grima Wormtongue

I think you should bring in massive tuition fees

I think you should bring in massive tuition fees

As adviser to King Theoden of Rohan and then Saruman, he was an insidious and unsettling presence, whispering the right words to ensure he stayed close to the centre of power regardless of how he was perceived.

Most likely to say: Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?

Least likely to say: I’m standing up for  what I believe in

Vote for him if: You close your eyes and hope for the best when you tick the ballot sheet

Nigel Farage

Jesus wept. Who would look at this bloke and think he's the answer,to any question?

Jesus wept. Who would look at this bloke and think he’s the answer,to any question?

The populist leader of UKIP whose seeks to lay all Britain’s problems at the feet of immigration and the European Union.

While this is divisive and racist at worst, it has found favour with a proportion of the population who are disillusioned with politics and feeling the harsh effects of austerity, while looking for someone to blame.

Seen as having the common touch, despite earning a massive EU MEP salary.

With that in mind, Nigel Farage is Baltar.

Whatever, as long as I can stay in the spotlight

Whatever, as long as I can stay in the spotlight

Either as Count Baltar in the original series or Gaius Baltar in the re-boot, he was never far from the centre of power and would say and do anything to ensure he stayed there. Exploitative and morally vacuous.

The fact that people in power listened to the snivelling wretch is one of the major reasons for the near annihilation of the human race.

Most likely to  say: “I blame the Cylons!”

Least likely to  say “Probably best to be hated by everyone than loved by this lot.”

Vote for him if: I honestly can’t think of a reason